It’s Friday afternoon. I’m home from work. The house is full of kids. And I am suppose to be finishing up this weekends message. (It’s almost finished.) The iPod is looping my usual playlist of worship songs. (I call it my sermon prep playlist.) And the snow is falling outside.
I’ve decided to take a break, stretch my legs and get something to drink. So I went to the kitchen where Amy was beginning to get dinner ready. It’s Friday and that means pizza. Every Friday night, Amy makes homemade pizza. However tonight, she’s making Stromboli!
While on this break, I took a few minutes to watch the kids play in the snow and help Amy with some of the dinner prep. One of the Stromboli’s is a streak and cheese and since I cook steak at McDonald’s for breakfast, I offered to fry up the steak. Plus, working in the kitchen allows me to spend some time with Amy. (Something I’ve been missing in this crazy-busy season of life we are in.)
As we talked, I shared my what I’ve been struggling with all week, “What is God doing with us?”
I have never felt so uneasy about what the future holds. Earlier this week I shared how five themes keep popping up around us (See my post titled, “I Long for More.”). These themes have caused me to wonder what God is doing, and why it’s taking so long to see him move in at least one of these themes. I feel like we’re so close to something happening…but nothing’s happening.
For instance, this morning, I received another request to submit some of the resources I have developed for students to a new website that launches in February. I shared this with Amy and we both thought, “Why doesn’t God use this as a way to provide financially for us?” You see over the last couple of years, a number of blogs have asked for articles. I have done my best to share with as many as possible. I like writing. I like sharing my experiences and thoughts on things like youth ministry. But I don’t always have time to do that.
Why couldn’t I write? And why couldn’t God use it as a way to provide?
I believe he could, if that was his plan. But now here I am again, standing at the door of an opportunity and wondering…is this a door I should walk through? If I make the time to organize some of my curriculum, my resources, my t-shirts, my graphics, and finish the manuscripts, would they be something that could bless someone else and provide for our family?
All I would need to make is about $2500 a month, and I’d be able to work 3/4 time for the church and 1/4 as a writer. But is this the right door.
“God, why are you not making things clear?”
Anyway, I’m about to get back to my sermon for this weekend. I’m teaching on giving God more. Funny how God seems to weave his sense of humor into everything. Here I am getting ready to teach about giving God more; more of our finances, more of our gifts, and more of ourselves, and all week long I’ve been asking God to give me more of him. Hmmm.
Maybe there’s a correlation there?
The snow does make things outside look pretty.